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Parenting | 6 Bad Results from Yelling at Your Children | What to do

Parenting | 6 Bad Results from Yelling at Your Children | What to do

Bill Belew has raised 2 bi-cultural kids, now 34 and 30. And he and his wife are now parenting a 3rd, Mia, who is 8.

Ugly Chinese American
Yelling at Children

Yelling at children is like asking them to live next to train tracks. After a while, you can’t hear the train go by anymore.

After a while, the child can’t hear the parent who yells at them anymore, either.

The University of Pittsburgh has an opinion after yelling, um, looking at 967 middle school students over the course of two years.

When parents yell at their kids, the children are more likely to:

1. be depressed

2. have behavioral problems.

Yelling = loud voice, cursing and using insults.

3. to not get the child to stop anyway

4. learn how to yell back = become aggressive

5. become ashamed =

6. retreat into their own world

Click to Read => 8 Best Healthy and Affordable Halloween Giveaway Ideas 

Yelling happens to be sure. Raising your voice becomes necessary at times.

“Honey, watch out for that oncoming car. Dear, you’d better move now or … ”

Danger is not always imminent. But to not correct a child is also dangerous.

A loud voice may come to sound like a passing train, but incessant nagging at a low to moderate level sounds like static noise. It can be tuned out as well.

Keep the lines of communication open.

Keep children focused on the task at hand.

More often than not, when a child is drifting it is because the parent is, too.

When parents are on purpose, so is the child.

Yelling is a voice that is loud and out of control.

A loud voice on purpose, used in a timely manner is necessary at times.

But … if parents would keep themselves on track, more often than not the child will be on track, too.

Sadly … we often see in children what we don’t like to see in ourselves.

Agree? Disagree?

Talk to Bill and others about their experiences raising bi-cultural Japanese-American kids.

 

Growing up Indian in America | Advantages of being bi-cultural

Growing up Indian in America | Advantages of being bi-cultural

Bill Belew has raised 2 bi-cultural kids, now 34 and 30. And he and his wife are now parenting a 3rd, Mia, who is 8.

All Disney Princesses
All Disney Princesses

Hi Mia. I grew up in America also, just like you, but my parents are both from India. So, I also grew up in a multi-cultural environment. But for me, instead of having parents from two different cultures, I spent my home-life in one culture, but I spent my day times as part of the American culture in school.

There were many times as a child that I felt like I just didn’t fit in anywhere. I didn’t really fit in with all the Indian kids because I like the American culture and therefore wasn’t as traditional Indian as many of my Indian friends. But I also never fit in with American kids because I was very obviously Indian. I wasn’t exposed to many of the things Americans were exposed to, like Winnie the Pooh, or Alice in Wonderland. I

Beautiful Shakuntula
Beautiful Shakuntula

didn’t have a favorite Disney princess. My favorite princess was Indian. And then there was the obvious…I was a different color. And in those days, being a different color made you stand out like a sore thumb. So I’d get teased and called names.

None the less, I did have some wonderful American friends, and their influence did make me want to fit in more. And so I became more American. As you know, it can be hard reconciling these conflicting values and cultures. It’s hard to feel like you don’t fit in anywhere.

But as I got older, I realized there are so many advantages to being from two cultures. I have two sets friends with completely different interests. So, my life is always very interesting. Since American kids often talk about different things than Indian kids, I get to talk about lots of different topics and I never get bored. I also became the most popular person in both of my groups of friends. Why? Because I was the most interesting to them. I brought the stories and information from one group, and shared it with the other. My friends all loved my stories.

Another big advantage is I always had really cool clothes. I had my American wardrobe that included jeans to fancy dresses. And I also had my Indian wardrobe that included cotton Panjabi dresses to formal clothes. It was so much fun. I love clothing, and I got to enjoy so much more of it than any of my other friends.

As an adult, my multi-cultural background has made me very well versed on many interesting topics. It also ingrained in me a passion for and interest in learning about other cultures. I love meeting people from other places. I love all sorts of ethnic food and music. And most of all, I love to travel and see the way people live in other countries.

So, even though it’s sometimes difficult to be torn between cultures, most of the time having varied cultural background has been a big advantage. Now, instead of not feeling like I fit in anywhere, most of the time I feel like I fit in everywhere! I fit in with the Indian community, and I also fit in with all the Americans we know. And I’ve learned the skills needed to fit in with other cultures too. I feel so blessed to have had the cultural upbringing I’ve had.

Do you want to know what my favorite thing is about being multi-cultural? Go to my holiday blog to find out

Talk to Bill and others about their experiences raising bi-cultural Japanese-American kids.

 

What to look for if you are living in a bi-cultural setting

What to look for if you are living in a bi-cultural setting

Bill Belew has raised 2 bi-cultural kids, now 34 and 30. And he and his wife are now parenting a 3rd, Mia, who is 8.

I was not raised in a bi-cultural family but I have interacted with other people from different cultures. When I was growing up back in Africa, my dad was associated with church commitments from being a pastor to  the church management committee. Since the church was an international one, we used to have visitors from Europe visiting the church. Sometimes we used to offer accommodations to the missionaries and that is how I got to learn about living with people from a total different culture.

Bi-culture family
Bi-cultural family

Africans practice a lot of customary trends like clothes, food, festivals etc. This makes it difficult for visitors from other countries to communicate when living there.

I came up with some few tips on how to get along very well living in a bi-cultural or bilingual setting.

Adjusting the language: Language is very important and is a form of passing messages. In Africa there are so many different languages. Different countries have  their own languages. English, French and Swahili are some few common languages spoken across Africa. If you are visiting Kenya where I come from, then English is the national language and a majority of people use it but if you have to visit rural areas then, language becomes a challenge.

Learning the basic things in a different language is crucial. Greetings, acknowledging, asking for help are the basic things ones should learn.

Clothing and costumes:- It will always be nice to try out a different clothing style or fashion of the new culture. This will make you have the sense of belonging and more so the community or people will associate you with themselves more. In my blog of AfricaUrbanWear I have posted on African clothes and costumes.

The knowledge of blogging I took from my instructor Prof. Bill Belew. Some styles may be awkward but believe me it is fun. Maasai is a culture in Kenya where they wear goat skin. I want to believe it will be very accommodating to try out.

Learn writing and speaking different language
Learn writing and speaking different languages

Trying out their foods: Foods are basically dictated by the culture. Being a bi-cultural individual means you have two sets of foods. This is fine. And you need to get used to both foods and have a sense of belonging to them. In Africa the food is more organic and fresh from the farms unlike the developed countries that have frozen foods.

Again some cultures might be eating something you consider to be “yucky.” But you might love it once you try.

In summary being a bi-cultural individual is very interesting if you can adjust to both cultures and you can fit in it.

As the old saying goes:When you go to Rome do what Romans do.”

It is the same essential philosophy that can help you get used to different cultures.

Talk to Bill and others about their experiences raising bi-cultural Japanese-American kids.

How to Raise Kids Bilingually in a Chinese and American environment

How to Raise Kids Bilingually in a Chinese and American environment

Bill Belew has raised 2 bi-cultural kids, now 34 and 30. And he and his wife are now parenting a 3rd, Mia, who is 8.

Bilingual Parenting Isn't Easy
Bilingual Parenting Isn’t Easy

In order to learn second language, so many students in the world have spent tremendous time on studying.

After-school class, mandatory English classes, and language summer camps have always been popular over the years in Asia. As a dominant  language, English has been taught throughout the school years. However, the impact and final result from years of 2nd language teaching is still far behind the influence from a bilingual environment at home.

It’s such a privilege to raise a kid or be raised up in a bilingual family.

After 15 years of studious spirit in English learning, Dreamsbiz tried so hard to learn English back in Taiwan.

Fortunately,  Dreamsbiz was able to get comparable higher score than others on TOEFL and GMAT and to enroll in one of the worldwide best International Business Schools within the United States.

Despite high scores in all the language evaluation tests, I still lacked the basic knowledge of daily conversation in terms of American culture and history. Most of the 2nd languages mainly focus on academic or conservation-wide teaching. That also contributes to the situation where people do not know to express or get involved in the discussion properly.

How to raise up a kid in bilingual family?
How to raise up a kid in bilingual family?

When coming to the United States, I was not surprised at all to see the growing number of U.S. bilingual families. One of major factors to boost U.S. economy is immigrants. From 70′ to 90’s , there are several peaks of immigration in the American demography. For those families, how to raise the kid in bilingually or trilingually has been a very popular topic over years.

Recalling all the training when I worked in one premium English private pre-school, the principal and the entire education system had a very clear policy on how to teach and interact with pre-school kids.

Consistency is the golden rule to follow up along side education materials.

In reading Annie’s article – Raising Bilingual Kids” Benefits and Techniques,  she also mentions how important and beneficial it is for kids to be raised up in bilingual environments.

So, here are few tips I learned from my past professional training:

  • Language delay – Parents should expect kids to experience language delay as a result of their dual language environment. Though the confusion may occur in children in their early age, children’s learning and language will not be different with others who are from a single language family.
  • Human interaction – Many parents rely on the TV to be the main the language learning at home. It would be a big harm for how teachers in pre-school invest their efforts. TV is just a method to support your teaching. Human interaction is still thumb of rule.
  • Stop having stereotypes – Parents should stop inputting any good or bad stereotypes from other cultures. Learning language should be an adventure for kids. Set aside these stereotypes that you even don’t know when teaching these little angels.
  • One language along with one parent – It’s a beauty that two parents can speak two or three different languages. For example, kids only can talk with mother in English but with father in Chinese. In time, kids can develop the language patterns to accelerate their learning.
  • Being consistent  – Make sure to be consistent during the entire process to prevent children from getting confused.

Of course, there are more different techniques recommended by others. You may also think some creative ways as you can.

Please share.

Talk to Bill and others about their experiences raising bi-cultural Japanese-American kids.