How I Learned to Be Me

My daddy says I am a shoe in to get 1,000,000 people to read my Miamei blog. He says I am likely to get there faster than anybody else he knows.

I have just a question, however. How many is 1,000,000? How many fingers and toes do I need? And what happens after that many people come?

Anyway, Daddy says I’ll get there sooner because I do things differently than others.

I take the road less traveled. Well, I am going to when I am old enough to bike, drive or walk long distances without asking someone to give me a ride in the wagon or on their shoulders.

I see things differently. There’s a knee. There’s another knee and another. Oh! There’s a penny! Read More

I’m not too sure about what it means to cheat. Something about someone not doing what they say they’re gonna do or doing something that they promised not to do and the like. I don’t really get it.

When my mommy tells me she’ll do something, she does it. Daddy, too. Isn’t that the way all big people act?

Jesse James cheated on Sandra Buttocks, um, Bollocks, on Bullock is what I hear. Is that guy her daddy?If so, he wouldn’t cheat.

My daddy is Billy the Kid. His name is Billy and my mom says he acts like a kid. Read More

I have discovered the 2 hands-down best tips for someone who wants to either lose weight or maintain their figure.

Tip # 1 -

First is climb up on the couch (or some other object that is about neck high), then jump up and down a dozen times. Count with me: 1, 2, 7, 7… Climb back down, then up again and down again and up again and down again repeating endlessly or until the 45-minute Veggie Tale program you might be watching ends.

In between the climbing, get down on the floor and roll back and forth and back and forth until you are laughing so hard you feel like you might see dinner again. Read More